Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
