I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
