I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
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He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Pants are for mortals
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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