i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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