I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
