every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize