theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
