so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
