Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
