After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
