I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
