its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
