things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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