so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize