ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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