No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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