I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
