I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
