sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
