Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
