Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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