what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
