I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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