We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
