It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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