Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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