While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm really busy with my period
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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