SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
