whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
