Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
