Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
