apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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