Plan B is the new Plan A
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
