I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
