Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
