you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
