Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
