We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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