so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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