mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Are we still banned from the library?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
