I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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