So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
