I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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