Are we in a gay sports bar?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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