Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize