He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
