I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
