have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
