Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What a dumb baby whore.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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