lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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