Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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