I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
