This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
