yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
