Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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