I accidentally had phone sex last night
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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