Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
