this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
