i just had sex bonerless
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
