She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
